Dark Paradise
by InvisibleMoony
Summary: After Hermione went to the past, she falls into a deep depression. Will she overcome it or give in? (Sorry, I m not really good with summarys)


**Dark Paradise**

**A/N: Hey, everyone who decided to read this! This is my first one-shot (out of many more I hope), so if you find some mistakes or things that seem illogical, tell me, because I really want to get better! I tried to correct everything, but I don´t have a beta and I´m only human :) Also a big thanks to rileypotter17, who commanded me to post this! If you haven´t read her stories yet, check them out, they are awesome! And also thanks to my friend Yvonne who had to listen my whining about this one-shot! Well, I hope you like it!**

She was lying in her bed, curtains shut, a half full bottle of Firewhiskey next to her.

That position was not uncommon for the now twenty-two year old Hermione Granger, The-Boy-Who-Lived's best friend, savior of the wizarding world, and brightest witch of her age. She was trying to drown her sorrow in alcohol, trying to forget, but every time she tried and closed her eyes, she saw HIS face.

_His handsome face, shaggy black hair framing his aristocratic featured face, the infamous smirk playing on his mouth, his dark grey eyes as mysterious as the veil that was his end..._

It had all started rather the battle of Hogwarts Professor McGonagall had asked her to come to Dumbledore's office. They were still calling it Dumbledore's because it was strange to imagine it without twinkling blue eyes and offers of lemon drops. They had given her a task. It was difficult, and she was clueless how to do it, but she had to go to the past and get Harry's parents together. Dumbledore assured her it would all go well, because 'she had solved it once, hadn't she?', but Hermione had her doubts. The next day she went to the past, the fifth of September 1977 to be exact. She gave the younger (and very much alive) Dumbledore a letter, and soon she went with the name Hermione Walker, and was sorted into Gryffindor.

Hermione knew she would have to associate with the Marauders, to possibly befriend Lily Evans for her mission.

But absolutely nothing could have prepared her for the absolute Force that were the infamous Marauders. They became her best friends, her port of safety, her everything.

Lily Evans, her red hair matching her temper, but with the most amazing and motherly green eyes she had ever seen. She was smart, witty and a warm person who could everyone make feel at home, but you wouldn't want to get in her sight when she was angry. Lily was the only real girl-friend Hermione ever had.

James looked so much like Harry, it hurt sometimes. But he wasn't the quiet hero, he was like the mischievous, rule-breaking side of Harry that sometimes showed. And he was absolutely adorable when you mentioned Lily.

Remus was a whole chapter himself. He soon became her best friend, the studious, but amazing and funny boy he was. Remus was very secretive at first, but when he confided his secret in her, and she told him she knew and didn't care, they both broke down and cried, for different reasons. They became inseparable after that. Remus was also the only one who knew of Hermione's time travel.

She even liked Peter Pettigrew, the chubby, awkward little boy being a great friend and nothing like the man she had met in the Shrieking Shack several years ago.

And Sirius... nothing could've prepared her for him. He was nothing like the bitter, broken man who had spent twelve years in Azkaban. He was a handsome, mischievous boy, a smart troublemaker, and a great and loyal friend. Sirius was the one who could make her laugh the most, who held her while she cried, the one who comforted her when she had a nightmare.

The inevitable happened: She fell in love with him. And soon after she had arrived, the playboy stopped to play and concentrated on her. They flirted, and fought, and he even could seduce her into playing a prank. Sirius told her about his family, his family by blood and his real family. She told him about Harry and Ron, about war.

By Christmas 1977 Lily and James got together. She had thought she would go back, but she didn't. So the next time Sirius asked for a date, she said yes. She wrote her NEWTs, and together with the Marauders, forgot about war. At the Graduation fest, James asked Lily to marry him (she said yes, of course) and Sirius asked Hermione to move in with him (she said yes, too). The first night in their new home was the first time they made love. Later, when Sirius was fast asleep, the only thing she thought was: "I can't go back to a world without him."

She was maid of honour and Sirius was best man at the James' and Lily's wedding. It was a beautiful fall wedding, and she danced with all the Marauders, and a few Order members as well. She hadn't joined, but all of her friends had. At the end of the wedding Sirius asked her to marry him.

She said yes.

The next week she was gone.

When she came back, she was a mess. She cried and screamed, she didn't eat, she couldn't even look at Harry, because he reminded her so much of what was lost. They were all dead. Her best friends, her family. The love of her life. She was emotionally unstable, they had said at . Should they try to lose their family, five persons at once (yes, even Peter). A few weeks later, she found a letter to her in their old flat.

_Dear Hermione (is that even your real name?)_

_After you disappeared, Remus told us what happened. Time travel, huh?_

_I kinda figured you wouldn't want to get involved, but no one can resist the Marauders, right?_

_From what Moony told us, we are about forty in your time. Or dead._

_You know, Lily is pregnant, and all I could think was:" I wish Mione was here."_

_The Harry you told me about, that's their kid, isn't he? Your best friend?_

_But I'm so glad that you got involved, that we all became friends. That you gave me the chance to love you. I don't think I'll love someone else. Ever._

_You were the One. You still are._

_You are the Lily to my James._

_You are the reason I keep fighting._

_Even if I'm as old as ol' Dumbles (of course I'll still be super handsome) , I'll probably still love you._

_But if I'm dead (and it is looking like it at the moment) you should move on. Even if I never could._

_I love you,_

_Sirius_

She never moved on. She tried, of course. She tried to eat, to sleep, and work, and meet her friends regular. She even tried to date, but he was always nothing compared to Sirius, even if he wasn't there. Poor Ronald would never be got thin, sickly looking, even her hair lost its bushyness (she couldn't really be happy about it, because Sirius had always loved it). She had dark circles under her eyes because she had nightmares.

Sirius, telling her he never loved her.

Sirius, not waiting for her on the other side.

The Marauders and Lily abandoning her.

It was like a dark paradise, despite the hateful things they said, she got to see them again. She wanted it to stop. The pain, the fear, the loss had to stop. She wanted to be dead, just like him. She had tried for nearly two years, and now she was lying here, Sirius letter, read a thousand times, in her hand, her engagement ring on her left ring finger, like everyday. She took the bottle of dreamless sleep potion. Only a teaspoon for the minimal of six hours. A table-spoon for twenty-four hours. The whole bottle to see her best friends again.

She drank it all.

Her last thought before drifting into unconsciousness was: " I'm sorry, Sirius, but I couldn't move on."

_Hermione opened her eyes, but closed them rather quickly. It was bright. Very bright. She felt a soothing hand caressing her cheek. "Please", she begged in her head, "let it be Sirius." And now she heard his beautiful, angelic voice telling her to open her eyes, so she did. Sirius was there, hers to touch, to look at, to love. "Oh Sirius", she cried out, holding him in a very strong embrace for someone so small. "Shh", he soothed her, "its alright, Mione. I, too, didn't move on. Now we are together again."_

_ She took his handsome face between her hands. He didn't look a moment older than he did when she last saw him, not a day over twenty. His grey eyes were twinkling with love and laughter when he said:" I love you, Mione" and her eyes mirrored his emotions when she answered:" I love you too, Sirius." _

_"Hey, Padfoot, get out of the way, we want to hug the Lady too", she heard a familiar voice say. There, behind Sirius, were standing all of her friends. Remus, Lily, James, even Peter. And when they came to hug her, and chatted about afterlife and a prank James and Sirius pulled on Snape in heaven, Hermione knew, she was finally home again._

THE END


End file.
